Historical Archive of Alpha-Geek.com (Full List of Entries Labelled "right")

Damn

Incomplete. It's always incomplete.

Chicago

Go Bears!

(Picture via)

Time: 6:15
Game Clock: T-20 minutes
Beers In: 0
Significant Game Happening: Still awaiting kickoff

Current Thinkings: Pensive.

Time: 6:28
Game Clock: 14:50
Beers In: 0
Significant Game Happening: Devin Hester returns opening kickoff for a touchdown.

Current Thinkings: Holy Shit! Still pensive, though.

Time: 6:47
Game Clock: 6:50 left in the 1st
Beers In: 1
Significant Game Happening: Peyton's pass to a wide open Reggie Wayne for an easy 6

Current Thinkings: Pensive.

Also, how the fuck does our Cover 2 (with our safeties 20 yards off the ball at the snap) miss a Reggie Wayne down the middle?

Time: 6:56
Game Clock: 4:50 left in the first
Score: 14-6
Beers In: 1
Significant Game Happening: Teams exchange fumbles resulting in a big T. Jones run to the 5 with a Bears TD soon after

Current Thinkings: Still pensive.

Time: 7:05
Game Clock: 2:30 left in the 1st
Score: 14-6
Beers In: 1
Significant Game Happening: Another Bears fumble

Current Thinkings: Fuck!

Time: 7:22
Game Clock: 11:40 left in the 2nd
Score: 14-9
Beers In: 2
Significant Game Happening: Bears D holds Indy to 3 in the red zone

Current Thinkings: Pensive.

Time: 7:42
Game Clock: 3:57 left in the 2nd
Score: 14-16
Beers In: 2
Significant Game Happening: Bears can't sustain offense

Current Thinkings: Can someone plant Manning into the Earth, please? Just once. Big hit. Make him eat dirt.

Time: 7:50
Game Clock: 2:00 warning before halftime
Score: 14-16
Beers In: 2
Significant Game Happening: Peyton driving.

Current Thinkings: Wishing the announcers would stop talking about Peyton "getting into the rhythm"

Wait. Wait! Colts fumble! Bears recovered!

Wait... wait... Bears fumble. Colts recovered.

What the fuck... twice now in the game... back to back fumbles...

Time: 8:00
Game Clock: halftime
Score: 14-16
Beers In: 3

Current Thinkings: More running game in the 2nd half, please, thanks.

Time: 8:12
Game Clock: halftime
Score: 14-16
Beers In: 3

Current Thinkings: The halftime shows have been and always will be retarded, uninteresting, and have nothing to do with the game (or "entertainment").

Seriously, would anyone be pissed if they were done away with?

Time: 8:33
Game Clock: 9:19 left in the 3rd
Score: 14-16
Beers In: 4
Significant Game Happening: Peyton driving

Current Thinkings: Can we get a stop on 3rd down?

Time: 8:48
Game Clock: 5:38 left in the 3rd
Score: 14-19
Beers In: 4
Significant Game Happening: 2nd and 1, two sacks, now we have 4th and 19

Current Thinkings: Full of sorrow

Time: 9:05
Game Clock: 1:14 left in the 3rd
Score: 17-22
Beers In: 4
Significant Game Happening: Bears FG

Current Thinkings: We need (NEED) a defensive stop.

Time: 9:30
Game Clock: 9:55 left in the game
Score: 17-29
Beers In: 5
Significant Game Happening: Grossman's 2nd INT

Current Thinkings: Despair

Time: 9:45
Game Clock: 5:55 left
Score: 17-29
Beers In: 5
Significant Game Happening: It's 4th and 9 at mid-field.

Current Thinkings: Pensive. This is the last chance.

...

Didn't convert.

Game over.

Unlikely College Football Scenario

Okay, in the unlikely scenario that Michigan is the undefeated team at the end of the year, and there are a bunch of 1 loss teams, one of which is to play in the BCS, and the list looks something like:

OSU
Texas
Louisville
Florida
Auburn
USC
Notre Dame
California
WV

So that would be the list of the one loss teams in this scenario. Okay, so out of that list, if OSU isn't the one chosen because Florida is picked or something, I'm going on a crusade. I don't care if the AP and Coaches polls are anonymous; I'll find them out. Then I'm buying one of those huge OSU towels, and I'm tracking each of the voters down, buying a membership to their gym of choice, waiting for them in the locker room; then, *SNAP!*.

I've been working on my technique, too. That shit will fucking hurt. I bet they'll regret picking a 1-loss Florida over a 1-loss OSU, then. I'm gonna knot the end of the towel, too, and wet it. Man, there's gonna be a lot of welts going around. I'm a welt-generating machine.

Our Grandfathers

We're all big babies

My grandfather wasn't nagged. Once he turned 21, he was a man, and a grown-up, and nobody battered him round the clock with opportunities he was missing, miseries he didn't know he had, aspirations ditto, inadequacies doubly so.

Nobody told him about being good in bed, grooming tips, what his car said about him, what he should have to eat, how much he should drink, what his house said about him, how Benares brassware was so over, where he should go on holiday, what this season's must-have product would be, how his suits should look.

He knew some of these things, and didn't care about the others because nobody was drawing them to his attention. He knew what his suits should look like: trousers, waistcoat, jacket, all made out of the same material.

He knew about grooming: you shaved. He knew what he should eat: breakfast, lunch, dinner. He probably had no idea that good-in-bed even existed, or that furniture did anything except furnish, or that where he went on holiday was of any significance, or that his car said anything about him at all, except 'Oh, here comes Dr Bywater, I recognise his car.'

But the Big Babies have no such autonomy, and are harangued to death; nor have they learned the adult trick of simply ignoring the fishwife-and-huckster voices. Instead, Baby tries to comply.

Believing it when he is told that he is unhappy, he then believes the cure the same fishwives and hucksters proceed to offer.

The house, the furniture, the car, the exotic holidays, the new wines to try, the squid and worms and foreign muck cooked in jam with the gravy underneath the meat, the peculiar vegetables like weeds or tumours, best thrown away; the uncomfortable places to go, the uncomfortable ways to get to them ('Travel the Amazon on anaconda-back'), the uncomfortable and dismaying sex ('Do we have to do buggery?'), the uncomfortable and dismaying life, funded on credit, built on debt, Carol Vorderman smiling as the bailiffs home in and the Official Receiver prepares for another day's official receiving.

And it is all a world of make-believe, a set of status symbols notable only for symbolising someone else's status.

In my experience, if you are a person who emphasizes utility over "Platonic form-esque status-ery," you are considered an eccentric oddity.

"What? Your furniture doesn't match? You didn't orchestrate your furniture lanscape with the help of a feng shui engineer at Trendy McExpensiveAndArtsy?"

I had an acquaintance who took a job peddling medical equipment to doctors (or something like that), and her employer offered to subsidize the purchase of a new car for her just so she would be driving a BMW or equally status-y automobile because apparently her employer assumed the medical clientele would be more apt to take a liking to persons who drove nicer, flashier cars. My friends all nodded in normalcy and offered advice to her on what car to buy.

This is what has become normal?

Two Tight End Set

So my Superbowl Prediction isn't looking too strong right now. But that wasn't the only NFL prediction I made in that post. The two tight end set hasn't exactly been on the tips of every sportscasters' tongues like I had thought, but it is slowly becoming more prominent. In this weeks NFL Report, they cover the increased use of 2-TE formations. And the Football Outsiders, in their Too Deep Zone series, discusses the strategic nuances of running with multiple tight ends.

Penn & Teller's Bullshit Show

Recently, I heard about a new show from Penn & Teller called Bullshit.

A quick search on Google Video for "penn teller bullshit" netted some results.

They're damn funny. It's like Mythbusters but dedicated not to "myths" but to life's idiosyncrancies (if you want to call them that).

My favorites thus far are the Organic vs. Non-Organic Foods and the one on Feng Sui and Bottled Water.

Real NFL Analysis

Second only to NFL Primetime, my favorite football show (besides the games, of course) is NFL Matchup where "Jaws" breaks down NFL plays into Xs and Os and reveals the complexity going on in each down of a game. It's like crack for me. If they had it on 24 hours a day during the week, I would lose my job.

If you are like me and this kind of geeky, in depth football analysis is your thing, I highly recommend firing up your news readers and subscribing to Football Outsiders. I've been reading them since the start of the last season, and they are good. Not only are their statistics interesting, but they have articles breaking down NFL plays. It's like Jaws in print. See the latest Too Deep Zone to know what I am talking about here.

It's football crack. It's football analysis for overly-analytical geeks like me.

Superbowl Prediction: New England Vs. Dallas

Before the season starts, I want to get my prediction down in writing. The superbowl will be the Dallas Cowboys against the New England Patroits. Bill Parcells versus Bill Belichick. Master versus apprentice.

The reason being: the two tight end set. The two tight-end set is the next "cover 2"; the next "west coast offense"; the next "run-n-shoot" — it will be the "football" phrase coming out of all of the commentators' mouths. And it will be widely copied before the year is out.

Dallas, with their first pick of the 2nd round, drafted Anthony Fasano, the TE out of Notre Dame. He'll be playing alongside Jason Witten, the starter.

New England already has Ben Watson and Daniel Graham, but they also picked up two tight ends in the draft, David Thomas out of Texas in the 3rd and Garrett Mills out of Tulsa in the 4th.

So.. you heard it here first: "the two tight end set" and "Parcells v. Belichick."

And Simmons also hinted to the two tight end set in his NFL preview:

To Tom Brady, who has the same look on his face that Uma Thurman had after she left the hospital in "Kill Bill." I don't think he's cracked a smile since the Denver game: No more magazine covers, very few interviews, very few public appearances … just a lot of lifting, throwing and scowling for nine straight months. The man is possessed. You have to believe me. And wait until you see how they perfected the two-tight end gimmick.

Quotable Miata

Some quotes from Jalopnik's Miata review:

Handling: *****
... The DSC-off, snap-on oversteer is something all serious pistonheads must experience before life crushes them, and they become minvan owners. (Spin, you sure we can't do six stars?)

Trunk: **
... Beer kegs ride shotgun and wreck the leather.

The "Wave"

I've long known about the Motorcycle Wave. The Miata has The Miata Wave. And I recently learned that Wranglers also have a wave.

This all seemed to tie nicely with Forbes recent article Most Satisfying Cars 2006 where they talked about a culture that can form around a product/brand.

I began to wonder what other vehicular segments had "waves." Or more generally, what other products/brands had developed a community with well-documented idiosyncratic customs?

Booze Belt

Could anyone think of a better invention than the Booze Belt. Eat your utility-belt-heart out, Batman. The Bandolier makes an excellent accessory for your sidekick.

Brand New Hotness

Apparently, I didn't get the memo not to use macs anymore.

Everyone should have two laptops.

Testing Miata Shocks

Hop and skip:

My "90 MX5 hops sideways when pushed hard through a corner. Only happens when I'm really trying, but I don't like it, feels untidy. I suspect the shocks, but they pass the "push down once and release" test. Anybody got any ideas?

That "test" is no good on a Miata.

How old are the shocks and how many miles?? More than 30k on the stock shocks it's time for new ones and an alignment.

But why is the "test" no good?

A Girl-on-Girl Fighting Game Featuring Panties

All right, gnubbs, this one just for you:

That’s it. The Japanese are done. They can now return to planet Japania, leaving all the people of Earth horribly confused and scarred for life.

You Meant "Ultimate"

The Penultimate Guide to Google Services

"Penultimate" is often used to mean "The Greatest" or "The Best" or "The Last One You'll Ever Need." Unfortunately, that's wrong. You see, penultimate can be used as an adjective that means:

1. Next to last
2. Of or relating to the penult of a word

Or it can be used as a noun meaning "next to last."

In the scenario above, "The Penultimate Guide to Google Services," what they are effectively saying is "The Second to Last Guide You Will Ever Need to Google Services." What they probably mean to say is "The Last Guide You Will Ever Need to Google Services."

Next time you find yourself about to say or write "penultimate," please stop and think to yourself, "do I mean the best or the second best?" If you mean "the best," please use the word "ultimate." I know it doesn't sound as fancy as penultimate or have as many letters or syllables, even. But, you know, sometimes you have to make sacrifices to be "correct." It's a burden we all share.

Funny NFL Writers

ESPN.com: Page 2 : Wrapping up the NFL, Week 8

If I was LaDainian Tomlinson, after every touchdown pass I threw I'd go up to Philip Rivers and whisper in his ear: "Now you're even farther down on the depth chart." Simply because it's fun to see a grown man cry.

Laugh out loud funny.

Just Another Day in the Life of a Semi-Abandoned Weblog

Update: Okay, I didn't really send that email to grayhatnews.com. Apparently, I have confused a great many people with my attempt at sarcasm.

Man!, I knew I shouldn't have sent that email.

Additionally, if you are calling in reference to this, my official stance is "no comment." "I don't pander to quote seekers."

Zoom Zoom Live

Mazda Zoom Zoom Live
If this came to Cleveland (or anywhere within, say, a 2 hour striking distance), I would so be there. Mazda does great grassroots marketing campaigns like this – like a year ago for the Mazda 3 with Mazda Rev It Up.

Solstice Versus MX-5

If you know me, you know that I have lusted after the Pontiac Solstice ever since it first appeared at the 2002 Detroit auto show. Coming from the roots of driving domestic cars, I thought it was great that Pontiac was producing the Solstice; and I was quite enamored with the car. (I even went so far as to have a picture of a Solstice as my computer's desktop background for quite a while if that is any indication as to the level of my affinity for the automobile.)

I ended up purchasing a Miata (now referred to as a "Mazda MX-5") a little less than a year ago, but that hasn't stopped my intrigue for the torquey little Detroit roadster. But, I had my fears. GM has never been renowned for quality of assembly and, hearing that the Solstice was built from the parts bin (including a tranny from a truck – a truck transmission in a roadster(!!!), a forumla for sports car, that does not make), I had my doubts. But, as the car rags got their hands on the new Solstice, they couldn't stop the gushing of praise, and I had a renewed sense of hope for the Pontiac-that-could.

Posted with permission, here is my friend Scott's take on the new Solstice after having been introduced to it. He's a fellow Miata owner and works in the automotive industry as an engineer.

Biggest Disappointment Ever

This past weekend, my dad and I were at Mid Ohio for the SCCA Runoffs. They had a GM display on the midway, and they had a Solstice there.

It's a very cool looking car. I knew this from pictures, but it looks great in person as well. When we walked up to the car, they had the hood open (forward tilting bonnet) and the trunk open with the top down. The first thing I noticed upon peering into the engine room was that the lower rear corner of the bonnet was right at noggin level. I pointed this out to my dad. Five minutes later, on the other side of the car, he smacked his head into the bonnet. One of the perils of ownership, I suppose, but working in that engine room would be cramped.

I've read a lot of complaints about the trunk space. It looks quite big with the top up, but the top takes up an amazing amount of space when it is down. No top-down trips with a weekend's worth of clothes in the back.

So far, though, my opinion of the car remained positive.

Then, I sat in it.

I tried to take the approach of "what if this was my car." I'm pretty picky at work, but I can forgive a lot in my own vehicles. The interior seemed to be nicely laid out, and the action of the gear shift, at least when stationary, didn't give away its truck origins. Where they instrument panel meets up with the front glass, they used a strip of foam along its entire width to keep it from rattling against the glass (same thing Honda does) -- at the left side, though, the foam was rolled up onto the top surface of the IP where it was easily visible. The IP was also pretty wavy as you looked at it where it met the glass from left to right. Our of curiosity, I pushed down on the IP near the glass, and I could deflect it easily 10mm. At this point, I started pushing everywhere. The doors in paricular were a bad point. In the Miata, for example, you can push outward on pretty much any poi! nt of the door liner, and you won't get much deflection. In the Solstice, when I pushed outward where the manual window cranks would be (this one had power), it moved probably 20mm or more. The whole door panel just flexed inward with minimal force. Right where you'd brace your knee in a corner, there was no support.

The worst thing I noticed was the door latch handle on the inside. Most cars have a cutout in the door liner, and the door latch handle assembly has its own little cup of sorts that sets into the liner. That way, when you grab the handle to open the door, there aren't any sharp edges.

On the Solstice, they made a hole in the door liner, but then brought the "cup" up from the back of the liner. Any time you open the door, there's a sharp plastic edge right by your fingers.

On top of that, I don't think there was a "soft" surface anywhere in the interior. Most cars have the "soft" IP and door liners and such....the Solstice was hard (but flexible) black plastic everywhere.

Granted, these aren't things that will affect ride/handling...but my three minute tour of the interior showed me enough that I have some concerns about how long it'll hold together without rattling like crazy. My Miata isn't quiet, but I think there's only one IP rattle after 115K miles.

Anyway....it was neat to sit in one. Whereas before I was excited about the car and would consider buying one if I were in the market, it's now crossed off my hypothetical list. It accelerates and handles in Miata territory, but the interior doesn't even compete.

That's really not surprising, though. It's the first year of the car. You have to cut it some slack. I still remain optimistic. Now that the car is out, the car rags are doing comparison testing between it and the Miata, which has aged gracefully and matured most of its "rough spots" while still retaining an uncompromising dedication to being a driving machine, and the Miata usually wins the comparison.

From Edmunds comparison (if you click through to the article, make sure to watch the video they have of testing the cars):

Check the stats and the similar performance numbers of these two cars, and you'd expect this test to be a dead lock, maybe even a squeak-out win for the Pontiac.

Didn't happen, the Miata walked away with this one.

...the biggest reason the Miata took this one is the simple fact that it's 10 billion times more fun to drive. It's more responsive. Its engine is livelier and its gearbox feels like it was plucked from a shifter kart. It also has more steering feel, and it stops better.

...in our world, these roadsters are supposed to be true sports cars. And sports cars are supposed to be fun. The more fun the better. And cars just don't get any more fun than the 2006 Mazda MX-5 Miata.

...When you drive the Mazda, it becomes obvious that every aspect of the car was designed and engineered by people who love cars and love to drive. You can tell they told the bean counters, the suits and all the other stuffed shirts how it was going to be and not the other way around.

This is rare in the car business, and the results speak for themselves.

I still have high hopes and high expectations for the Solstice, and I think, in time, it can be as refined and as pure as the Miata.. err.. MX-5. It makes a great halo car for Pontiac. They just need to concentrate on not screwing it up.

Autocross Prep

OK, so what do you need to run an autocross?

Here is the comment I posted.

Don't forget to remove everything... *everything* from your car. Anything in the trunk (yes, spare tire, too); all loose change; glove compartment should be completely empty; floor mats -- anything not bolted on: remove it.

You said full tank of gas; I do a half-tank. With a half-tank, you should undergo no fuel starvation. Also, a good time to check your oil. You don't want oil starvation happening in a sweeper.

Wash your car. You don't want to be that one guy who shows up with the dirty car (been that guy).

If you have laser thermometer, take it and leave the chalk at home. You can check how much rollover is happening on your side walls with the laser thermometer.

If you have magnetic paper, leave the shoe polish at home. Cut numbers out of the magnetic paper and stick those to the side of the car. Better looking and less smelly than the shoe polish on your windows.

Your tool set. Rachets, wrenches, screwdrivers, allen keys: you never know what you might need.

Bottles of water. You get thirsty.

Pen and paper. You might find it useful to sketch out the track on paper. Between runs, when asking others for advice, you can point to the section you are describing on the paper.

Sense of fun, humility, and comradery. You're there to have a good time! Remember that. And, also remember, a lot of the times, go slower to go faster.

Jon Stewart is Awesome

Because it needs to be said. This guy may save mainstream media, and he needs to be heeded.

If you don't know what I am talking about, please continue on to your next available web site.

My Most Recent Conversation with Eliza

Eliza: Hello.

Me: Hey, do you remember that thing that I had to do?

Eliza: Do you often have problems remembering things?

Me: No, actually. I have a very good memory.

Eliza: How has having "a very good memory" helped you?

Me: Well, it's good with numbers and concepts. Not so good with names and dates. And, I suppose it has its uses.

Eliza: Tell me more.

Me: Well, actually, I was mainly hoping that you would know that thing I was supposed to do. Last night, I thought to myself, "I need to remember that for tomorrow." But, now, I can't recall it.

Eliza: Did everything go as planned last night?

Me: Yes, everything went fine. It was a normal evening.

Eliza: Is everything else fine?

Me: Yes, except that I can't remember the thing.

Eliza: Tell me more.

Me: I don't want to tell you more. I want you to tell me if you remember that thing!

Eliza: Your anger is revealing.

Me: My anger is about to reveal my foot up your ass!

Eliza: Tell me more.

Me: I don't WANT TO TELL YOU MORE! I WANT YOU TO TELL ME IF YOU REMEMBER THE FUCKING THING FROM LAST NIGHT, FUCK FACE!

Eliza: You ran out of fucking deodorant. You need to go to the store and pick up some.

Me: Oh right... thanks, then.

Eliza: Fuck you.

Northern Ohio Autocross Event Schedule

Because I keep forgetting, here are the Northern Ohio Autocross racing events happening this year by the Akron Sports Car Club and the Northern Ohio Racing Association (schedules available here and here).

Songs That Were Tragically Overplayed in My Youth

There are certain songs, from my youth, that were so tragically overplayed that when I hear them now I cringe instead of feeling nostalgic.

• "What I Got" by Sublime.
• "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails
• "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen

Musical Baton

Jonathan Hollin passed me The Musical Baton, and who among us isn't game for a meme.

Total Volume of Music On My Computer: Well, you see; you caught me at an inbetween time. For one, there is no one computer; rather, I have a set of computers (some more "working" than others). There was about 10GB on my main desktop with another two on my "primary" computer, my laptop. But, I really don't think that I am actually going to bother reclaiming the music from the desktop. I would rather go through a musical rebirth. I've been picking CDs out of my collection every now and again to rip onto my laptop when I need fresh "old" music for my iPod. Other than that, I take monthly outings to iTunes to obtain fresh "new" music.

The Last CD I Bought: Holy crap, I can't remember. An actual CD? Like, the shiny thing that comes in a plastic case that people would purchase before there was iTunes? I think it was Atreyu's Suicide Notes and Butterfly Kisses. The last album I bought off of iTunes was Thice's The Artist in the Ambulance. The last song I purchased on iTunes was Ben Folds's new song, "Landed."

Song Playing Right Now: "Bathory Sainthood" by Boy Sets Fire. And, actually, I just changed it over to "Landed" because I just typed it, which made me think of it, which made me switch to it.

Five Songs I Listen to a Lot:

Well, according to iTunes "Most Played":

1. "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers (hey, I do listen to pop music, too).
2. "I'm the Best at Ruining My Life" by From Autumn to Ashes
3. "Juneau" by Funeral for a Friend
4. "Amsterdam Conversations" by From Autumn to Ashes
5. "Tear in Your Hand" by Tori Amos

Five People To Whom I'm Passing the Baton:

• Andy, fill me in on some bad emo.
• Steve, you live for this stuff.
• Prall, you want in on this? Wait, on second thought, you don't want to out yourself as a hardcore ABBA fan. Maybe you should take a pass.
• Bunk, I'm not sure you can play because I can see your iPod is here with me; not with you.
• Meesh, you're up, too.

All of you should feel sufficiently obliged to heed the call of an Internet meme.

First Autocross 2005

Today was the autocross event mentioned before.
The course was fast; the turns were sharp and plentiful; and the weather was nice. Overall, a great time to be had. On top of all of that, one of the other drivers had two sets of race rubber that he wasn't using and allowed me to use a set (Scott used the other set). So, not only was it my first autocross of the year, my first ever autocross in the miata, it was also my first time on tried and true racing rubber. It will be hard to go back to street performance tires after experiencing the sticky glory of racing rubber.

On with the pictures!

First Autocross 2005

Tomorrow is my first autocross in the Miata. It should be fun. I should spin the car no less than 33% of my runs. Good times to be had.

To commemorate, I crossed 50,000 miles.

And, spent today getting the Miata ready for the race:

Things I Do That I Shouldn't Do But Do Anyways Completely Unapologetically

• Smoke.
• Drink.
• Gamble.
• Ogle underage cheerleaders...
  • ... in front of my girlfriend.
• Speed (in my car, not the drug).
• Tell people when they are mistaken but not in an informative way; rather, in a completely condescending tone.
• Claim that I haven't read something because it is beneath me (with the real reason being I had never heard of the damn book).
• Drink coffee late in the evening when I need a productivity boost.
• Pay a service to wash and fold my laundry because I am too lazy to.
• I never make my bed (because I never see the point).
• Act like I didn't hear the person who said, "hi," just so I wouldn't have to talk to them.

Mazda's April Sales' Figures

Here are Mazda's April sales' figures:

                 Mazda North American Operations - April 2005

                             Month-To-Date              Year-To-Date

                        April   April        %    April    April        %
                         2005    2004   Change     2005     2004   Change

     Mazda3             9,994   7,335    36.3%   31,722   24,024    32.0%

     Mazda6             5,672   5,117    10.8%   23,920   20,565    16.3%

     RX8                1,001   2,207   -54.6%    5,918    8,234   -28.1%

     Miata                667   1,123   -40.6%    2,436    3,621   -32.7%

     Protege                0     466  -100.0%        1    5,973  -100.0%

     626                    0       0      N/A        2        8   -75.0%

     Millenia               0       0      N/A        0       15  -100.0%

     MPV                  831   1,662   -50.0%    5,344    6,851   -22.0%

     Mazda Truck          205     888   -76.9%    2,490    3,707   -32.8%

     Tribute            3,879   2,881    34.6%   14,435   13,028    10.8%



     Total Vehicles

     CARS              17,334  16,248     6.7%   63,999   62,440     2.5%

     TRUCKS             4,915   5,431    -9.5%   22,269   23,586    -5.6%

     TOTAL             22,249  21,679     2.6%   86,268   86,026     0.3%


     MEMO:

     IMPORT CAR        11,662  11,131     4.8%   40,077   41,867    -4.3%
     IMPORT TRUCK         831   1,662   -50.0%    5,344    6,851   -22.0%
     IMPORT TOTAL      12,493  12,793    -2.3%   45,421   48,718    -6.8%

     DOMESTIC CAR       5,672   5,117    10.8%   23,922   20,573    16.3%
     DOMESTIC TRUCK     4,084   3,769     8.4%   16,925   16,735     1.1%
     DOMESTIC TOTALS    9,756   8,886     9.8%   40,847   37,308     9.5%


     Note:  Protege, 626 and Millennia are discontinued vehicles.

All I've got to say is, "thank God for the Mazda3 and Mazda6."

At Wit's End

Okay, I just couldn't take the people on this entry anymore. So, now, when anyone attempts to comment on that entry, they are greeted with this page.

That will make me slightly more content.

Curse You, Vending Machine

Dear Vending Machine,

Please give me my bag of Doritos. I have paid the 70¢ for them. They are rightfully mine. I realize you are subject to your poor design, but I would really like to have them. And, I am all out of small change to purchase another bag.

I just want you to know; I am not morally opposed to tipping your ass over. I checked. I can easily manage to do it with a small amount of effort. So... you might want to reconsider your hold on my bag of nacho cheese goodness.

Sincerely Yours,
Jeremy Smith

Overcoming Indecisiveness

From Overcoming Serious Indecisiveness, a quote by Herodotus discussing how Persians make decisions:

If an important decision is to be made [the Persians] discuss the question when they are drunk and the following day the master of the house...submits their decision for reconsideration when they are sober. If they still approve it, it is adopted; if not, it is abandoned. Conversely, any decision they make when they are sober is reconsidered afterwards when they are drunk.

Those Persians really know how to rock the casbah. That's an excellent technique.

Excuse me now while I go and try to decide what to have for dinner...

Miata Only Autocross Event

Just got this email forwarded to me from Eric (thanks, Eric!):

Subject: [Autox] miata event
To: autox@autox.net

Dear Miata Drivers,

Thanks to the NORA (Northern Ohio Racing Association), we will be holding a Miata ONLY event on May 15th at Harville Flea Market (http://www.hartvillefleamarket.com/) - lots of new pavement! This event will be for all miata drivers - new, some-experienced and veterans. Anyone that is interested in trying to get a miata between two cones-fast!

We will have two groups:
Performance tires/some experienced in autocrossing (CS,ES,CSP,SM2, STS2, etc. and Ladies classes)
Street tires/no experience needed (experience drivers will be available to help)

arrival at noon on May 15th
registration and car Tech from noon to 12:30
novice walk at 12:30-12:45
drivers meeting at 12:45
first car off at 1:00

Expect at least 7-8 runs or more if we stay on schedule!

We plan to finish up by 4:00-4:30 and then to dinner and a beer or two! More on the location later.

The cost will be only $25 for Northcoast Miata Club members and $30 for non-members. It will cover the cost of the insurance, rental of the timing equipment and cones and a small donation to the Christian Fellowship Mission at the request of the manager at Hartville. Cars must have mufflers that will keep the noise down.

Please RSVP if interested or if you have questions (mldepietro99@netscape.net or mldepietro@sherwin.com),

Also, forward this to anyone that owns a Miata!!!

Thanks,

Mike

_______________________________________________
Autox mailing list
Autox@autox.net
http://autox.net/mailman/listinfo/autox_autox.net

Mmmm.... new pavement. 7-8 runs. Sounds like a fine time.

Evan is Going to the World Series of Poker

A friend of mine, Evan, recently won an $11 buy-in satellite tournament that got him a free buy-in to a much bigger tournament on Party Poker.com where the top 5 finishers had the $10G WSoP buy-in taken care of for them. The hotel room and some spending cash are taken care of, too.

Nice take, Evan. And, good luck!

Oh yea, and if I don't actually see you on ESPN; then I am not actually going to believe you were there.

SRT-4 with Mopar Stage 3 Kit

The SRT-4 is getting ridiculous (ridiculous in a good way). The new Stage 3 kit from Mopar cranks the power output up and includes a switch to designate which octane of fuel you are running. In 93 octane mode, the car outputs 310hp/325lb-ft. In 100 octane mode, those numbers rise to 355/365.

The stock SRT-4 outputs 230 horses and 250 lb-ft of torque pulling the 2900lbs. car from 0-60 in 5.8s. With the Stage 3 equipped, we are talking a 0-60 time south of 5 seconds. That's a mother fucking quick FWD car.

Miata: Instant Classic

Used Vehicle Review - Mazda Miata, 1990 - 2004

Not many cars become classics. Most cars and trucks are relegated to the history books as boring, ugly or pedestrian, with only a few distinctive models with the right looks and moves to gain and maintain a following even after production ends.

Fifteen years into its production run, the Mazda Miata is one of those rare cars that many say earned "instant classic" status the moment the first ones hit dealers in 1989 as 1990 models.

Because I own a Miata, I suddenly feel the urge to point to any good press it gets. Something about Miata owners...

Plus, it's 75° in Cleveland; that makes me love the Miata even more.

Older

Today, I turned older. Actually, everyday, I suppose, I turn "older"; but today I have to do that $age++ thing where I actually entitle myself to an older designation.

Birthday celebrations come in many flavors usually dictated by what age you've obtained.

Wee-est Lad

Smashing face into cake and flinging remnants across room.

Wee Lad

Obtaining glorious bounty of toys that will inevitably be broken before nightfall. I had a particular knack for breaking toys.

Teens

Anger at being forced to have to spend time with relatives because, at this age, there is a natural aversion to such.

Young Adult

Wasted at bar of choice and engaging in imbecilic activities, which is not that much different from all the other weekends except, this time, it's "legal" (because it is your birthday — at least, that's how the logic goes).

Anything Older than Young Adult

Complaining about getting older. Complaining about how music sucks nowadays. Complaining about how this generation of kids just "doesn't know." Reminiscing when Star Wars was good.

This year, I am sticking with the "Young Adult" deal, though I can look forward and see 30 easier than I can look backward and see 20.

Google Gulp FAQ Entry

So, yeah, everyone's already seen the Google Gulp prank. But, did you take the time to read the FAQ? By far, my favorite entry:

11. When will you take Google Gulp out of beta?

Man, if you pressure us, you just drive us away. We'll commit when we're ready, okay? Besides, what's so great about taking things out of beta? It ruins all the romance, the challenge, the possibilities, the right to explore. Carpe diem, ya know? Maybe we're jaded, but we've seen all these other companies leap headlong into 1.0, thinking their product is exactly what they've been dreaming of all their lives, that everything is perfect and hunky-dory – and the next thing you know some vanilla copycat release from Redmond is kicking their butt, the Board is holding emergency meetings and the CEO is on CNBC blathering sweatily about "a new direction" and "getting back to basics." No thanks, man. We like our freedom.

1969 Ford Mustang Mach 1

Buy it, gnubbs. BUY IT!

Best Auto Recalls Ever

Top 10 auto recalls

My Favorite, by far:

General Motors recalled 6.7 million cars and trucks in 1971 because of an engine mount that sometimes separated, allowing the engine to lift and push down on the throttle, causing the vehicle to take off like a rocket.

You almost have to wonder if, in 1971, someone in GM's marketing division didn't suggest that they play it off as a feature.

Remember When I First Drove a Miata?

Two years ago today, I first drove a Miata. Fast forward a short while, I now own one.

Testosterone

Okay, I found mr. heathen via Boing Boing and have found it immensely entertaining. It's about a woman taking daily injections of testosterone and journalling the effects. The entertainment factor must come from the fact of reading a woman experiencing emotions for the first time that any normal man experiences on a daily (if not minute-by-minute) basis, and she is being surprised by them.

Pulling quotes:

3. i am producing massive amounts of sweat.

Oh yea, that's only going to get worse.

7. i've looked at several objects today and had the distinct though of "i could fuck that". said objects so far have included a toll booth, a binder clip, my shoes, a spiral notebook. i'm not sure how i would actually go about fucking these things, but i am willing to give it a try.

I look at my roommate's pillows ("pillows" because he, for some reason, owns more than one) the same way.

2. so hungry, all the time. yesterday i ate four full meals and still found myself in the kitchen at 4am stuffing dry cheerios into my mouth-hole. i thought that maybe this would cause me to chunk up a bit, but was surprised while checking myself out in the mirror that i can see *all* of my ribs and the outline of my pelvis in places. something needs to be done about this.

When I see the word "Cheerios," I see "Cheetos." Mmmm... Cheetos.

15. have nicely divided all things in this world into three categories: things i can eat, things i can fuck, things i can argue with.

You can drop that third category. And, rearrange the first two in order of precedence.

The 3 Stages of the Internet

Throughout this post, I will be using the term "Internet" to refer to the World Wide Web. "Internet" has a better ring to it.

First, there was no Internet. This is Stage 0 (as it is Stage 0, it will not be counted). It was a horrid time. I can't seem to remember how people found phone numbers or directions or encyclopedic information or news or congregated with like-minded individuals on common sets of interest or, even, coordinated a night out. Frankly, I don't like to think about it.

Then... then, there was the Internet. And, it was glorious. You could sit down at a computer and access the wealth of information (and a bunch of geocities.com web sites).

Stage 2. Wireless Internet. The Internet was good, but you still had to sit down at a computer to access it. That was before wireless. Now, the Internet is all around us. The world is my connection. I no longer have to tether myself to anything to access the Internet. Right now, for example, I am sitting on my couch writing this blog entry with the Internet flowing around me and into my laptop. Nowadays, I won't even go to coffee shops and the like if they don't offer freely available and ubiquitous wireless Internet. I scoff at airports that don't offer wireless. University campuses that don't have wireless... luddites.

But, the Internet could do one better; it had one more trick up its sleeves. News aggregator software and RSS. Even with the power of wireless where I could access the Internet from anywhere, I still had to go to those web sites. Slashdot. Perl Monks. O'Reilly Network. OSNews. OSDir. Etc. There was probably over 50 web sites I regularly tracked. It was a hassle to collect all those bookmarks and remember to visit them and check to see if there was new content. Well, that happens no more. The Internet now comes to me! I track 150-170 web sites via my news aggregator, Bloglines (you can see the sites I track at http://www.bloglines.com/public/jms18); and it could not be better. This stage, Stage 3 of the Internet, has changed the way I use the Internet — even moreso than wireless changed it. I cannot be more of a proponent of news aggregator software. You will wonder how you ever used the Internet beforehand.

Bloglines isn't the only news aggregator software out there. There's a lot of them, and I have heard good things about NetNewsWire (Mac Only), NewsMonster, FeedDemon, AmphetaDesk, and NewsGator (requires Outlook).

In summary, in conclusion, and as a final note, give news aggregator software a try.

No, Mazda, Don't Do It

Mazda says it will increase efforts to fine tune vehicles to U.S. preferences

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mazda, here, sit down. I need to talk to you about something. No, really, we have to talk. I need to tell you about us over here in the States. It's not that we are "dumb," per se. It's just that most of us have different requirements in the cars we buy compared to other sectors of the world.

We have long places to drive; and our environmental conditions vary from the cold-struck North to sunny Florida and rainy Oregon. And, you know, things like heated seats and auto-dimming mirrors, and whats-thats and gizzets and whirly-thingamajiggers and etc. — they all have demand. We do require versatile cars that we can pack in our 2 kids, some groceries, an overnight bag for the wife, and still be able to pleasantly drink our Big Gulp's while barreling down the highway talking on our cell phones. We need these things. They are part of our lives.

That does not mean that you should do it. It's not your identity, Mazda. That's not what you are about. There is room in the market for you. Please keep all of you cars sports inspired. You do not need to make 3400lbs. cars that include a dry cleaning service in the back seat and room for 3 golf bags.

Mazda... Mazda... Mazda. Please, just don't do it.

Have you ridden in a BMW lately? Remember when BMW was driver-centric? No cup holders (or, at least, impossible to use cup holders). Rigid race-inspired chassis and suspension (remember the famous E31 and E36 chassis of the 90s). Pure drivers' cars. But, have you been in one recently? I have. The suspension feels mushier than my dad's Cadillac STS.

And, there's nothing wrong with that, Mazda. Pleasant rides that aren't jarring are nice. That's the route BMW took with their base cars.

But, that's not for you.

No no no, that's not for you.

Please, Mazda. You are the last car company for a person like me. A person who eschews most of these amenities because I just want to be a driver on the road. I don't mind tire noise. I don't mind the hum of an engine. I sit rigid in my seat. And, while I enjoy all of those creature comforts in other people's cars (furthmore, I would feel more comfortable knowing that every other car in the world had TCS and ASM installed... all except my car, of course); I need to know that there is, at least, one car company out there for me.

I am not the only one. (Via Autoblog)

Meesh

Another one of my friends has started doing the whole blog-a-log thing — Eastman News (not sure what the title signifies, maybe he'll write an entry explaing it).

He's a dentist... which reminds me, Meesh, you need to read the 10 Commandments of Blogging. Pay specific attention to #5.

Jiggling the Toilet Handle

"Where's your bathroom?"

"Down the hall, last door on the left."

"Okay, thanks."

"Oh, you have to jiggle the toilet handle when you're done to get it to stop running."

That last sentence strikes terror into my heart. I am completely incapable of just mindlessly "jiggling a toilet handle." How do you know how much "jiggling" to do? What is the optimum frequency of the jiggling? Optimum amplitude? For how long do you perform the jiggling? There's no feedback. There is no confimation that your jiggling has been successful other than sitting and watching and waiting for the toilet to finish refilling its basin. If it keeps running, you have to repeat the jiggling.

No, I can't do this. I need confirmation. When I am told to "jiggle the handle," I remove the porcelain basin covering and meticulously manipulate the stopper into its correct position. This is the appropriate way to do it. I have no idea how normal people can just randomly jiggle a handle and then go to sleep at night never knowing whether or not their jiggling was successful.

Unfortunately, it is rarely as easy as pulling the top off. The top of a toilet is usually a resting place for a variety of bathroom items. Electric razors. Air freshener. Moisturizing lotion. Various female cosmetics. Other stuff I can't identify.

So, for me to accomplish my task, I have to rearrange the other person's entire bathroom; pulling off every item from the top of the toilet. Now, I could just place the items in a temporary location; remove the top; perform the replacement of the plunger; put the top back on; and return the items back to the top of the toilet. But, I know I am going to probably use the bathroom again. So, why perform this ritual each time I have to take a piss? I just try and relocate everything to a more natural placement elsewhere than the top of a toilet. After rearranging the person's bathroom, then I can much more easily perform the more optimum "toilet handle jiggling."

And, of course, if I've had a couple to drink, I give it 50/50 that I don't end up cracking that porcelain top in two, anyways.

Damn the OCD.

Confused

This guy seems very confused. He emails Bloglines and tells them to remove his site's content (which it aggregates via his RSS feed). The reasoning is that he wants his content viewed on his page where his contact information and other branding is visible.

Okay.

Then, he tells people that were reading his content via Bloglines to... wait, here is the quote.

For the 190 of you who subscribe to this site through Bloglines, I apologize for any inconvenience, but I think that you will still find my site easily accessible, here. If anyone desires the convenience of being notified only when this blog (or most any blog) is updated, then I recommend subscribing to one of the many RSS programs available.

Huh?

Update:

I want to clarify my point. I find nothing wrong with a person who wants to limit his content to being on his site where all of his branding exists. What I found confusing is that he doesn't want Bloglines to reproduce his content, but he is fine with other aggregators doing so? What makes Bloglines bad but NetNewsWire just peachy?

Update 2:

Okay, now I want to clarify my previous update. When I said, "I find nothing wrong with a person who wants to limit his content to being on his sight," well, that is not true. I can think of a "few" things wrong with that. But, that's not a point I want to bring to contention. Getting into that is usually pointless.

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